Friday, June 13, 2014
Nothing very new, just that it. has. been.. escalating/peaking/increasing to extremely uncomfortable levels
Spiralling out of control, descending right in to the abyss of...(ok i should stop trying)
Becoming intelligible, indescribable.. Or perhaps just really tired/jaded/too long drawn, that no one really wants to, or ought to listen to it any longer
Rearing it's ugly head into the natural(or i would say, normal) aspects of life. Casting doubt and uncertainty on friendships, challenging the validity and strength of 'friendship ties'which unfortunately cannot be divorced from God-ship elements
It just gets pretty bad/agonising when part of you truly believes (and tries to or hopes to)... And the other part resists- clearly uncomfortable,unconvinced and as they may say, dead or hardened
This, the story of a 2year struggle that's not getting anywhere. The little tale of a life so closely shaped and tethered to organised religion, that nothing can really move on if this faith in OR is shaken.
It really amazes me how much faith and absolute trust, committment i once had
In fact, unbeknown to me (yet quite self-explicably) neither is my life really heading anywhere.
9:56 PM MASQUERADE!
