Sunday, January 01, 2012
it's 2012! which mean i'd be turning twenty-one- something i don't exactly look forward to, but in some ways i hope it quickly comes & goes..
the relative lack of excitement probably boils down to this problem/internal conflict/secret struggle i've been bugged with in recent years, specifically on sundays
where the need for independence, differentiation & integration lol surfaces so strongly
sometimes leaving you so feeling so guilty and hypocritical when these needs hinder your ability to reach God.. and more so especially after you've been singing-on-duty
..when you're meant to be a leader who reaches out, who's spirit-filled..
when you are ____'s kid but you totally do not feel like taking ownership of this supposed mantle upon you.
ok so back to the key topic-
after-church routines were fine when you were still sweet16 but when you hit 20, it hits you then you ARE 20. it's time to leave the nest, get out of the car.. develop some boundaries & independence.
twenty-one this year, so i think i'd have to try
its pretty much a do-or-die situation i believe.. :/
3:24 PM MASQUERADE!
