Thursday, August 25, 2005

disappointment. that's the one word that describes what i feel ; that's what i always end up with. it never goes away no matter how hard i try. time and time again, i'm stuck with this fear of being left behind, and it makes me wanna cry each time i remember it. is failure always the mother of success? call me a skeptic, but i don't necessarily think so. i mean, how many failures would any one want to ever go through? what's the point if you always keep trying and trying, but towards the end, you're doing yourself in.?they say that the people closest to yur heart are always those that inflict the deepest cuts. especially if you're the one whose hurting yourself, killing yourself. Is that what i'm doing? all my past brushes with disappointment always tend to be a result of my own stupidity. it's like you put in so much, but yet in the end, you don't get what you expect. ART>MATH.yes. quit talking bout it.i'm screwed, you're screwed. but it really pained me when i saw this big A2 smack right beside my name. all my life, (k not quite, this year only..) math was all about a1s, or even 80+s. it was a breeze,frankly speaking.we made it thryu every test. but when i got to this part of the year, this perfect sky crashed on me. and yes, it hurt me. i'm sore, angry, bitter, but whose to blame? no one, but ME. i aimed too high. i couldn't care much. i thought i knew. i expected so much more. it was all i wanted. up till now, i still don't know why. but i'm gonna stop pushing the blame arnd anymore. i'll learn to face it and get up, someday, hopefully i will. Lord, please help me take away these hard feelings. i know you have better plans in store for me, help me to keep trusting you.

i'm not gonna dash this dream